Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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