just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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