oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
