and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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