dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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