im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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