wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
