Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
