Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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