For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
