Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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