i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You pole danced in your parka.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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