You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
