So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Randomize
