The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
