I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
