'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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