it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
