Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
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