so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize