Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
there was a trapeze. enough said
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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