I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Someone shattered a urinal.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
