I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Randomize