Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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