I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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