her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize
