Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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