i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
