Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
