hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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