Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm really into asian looking animals
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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