i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
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we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
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They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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