I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
