we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Randomize
