I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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