that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
