pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
