Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
