How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she looked like the before picture.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
