i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
