god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
