he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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