Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
