doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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