Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
4 words: hood of his car
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
