all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Randomize
