so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
