drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
