your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
time to smoke my breakfast
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
