I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
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We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
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Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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