On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
