just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
