I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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