Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
