im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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