and next time when you feel me up, do it right
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
