HIV tests are more positive than that guy
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
