wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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