I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
