I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
