i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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