So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
