i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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