If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
