Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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