just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
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during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
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He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
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