So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
