4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
